2003-03-08 - 9:54 p.m.
everything is magnified to such extremes that the slightest action has the most severe consequences. i'm so tired of holding back everything and trying to rationalize my emotions. we can speak our minds but it's on a plane so far from reality that nothing ever changes. my heart sank last night as the words rolled off his tongue. it took me three hours just to reach out to him and grab his hand, and that alone means more than anything i could experience with anyone else. i can't go on making decisions in relation to someone else. if this is intense, i wonder what this would feel like in orlando.
