2002-10-26 - 1:20 a.m.
a night filled with cigarettes, playground fun, and relationship talk. i don't really see brian too often, but it's nice when i do.
i feel for the guy, but really i consider him lucky. i mean a fucked up or complicated situation is still something. atleast he has a situation to be in. it's been a while since i've heard someone talk about another person with such detail and adoration. how could you not want that in your life?
i'm so fucking restless lately with all of this. how many weeks has it been now? three maybe four? am i really that codependent? is it really so hard to imagine a life completely independent from the opposite sex?
i keep putting myself in the same position. my love life, or lack there of, has become somewhat of a broken record. i'm tired of kissing boys and wasting time. i want something with meaning. i want something tangible. i want something more than this.
