2002-09-20 - 5:56 p.m.
his feelings were being displayed to the world during the whole time of our relationship and i never knew. just now, now that it's too late, things come to my attention.
several months ago, he was sitting in his house writing the words that i desperately needed to hear, the words that could have saved us. i was ignorant to it all. oblivious to what was right in front of my face.
all, that time i lied. i lied to myself and to him. i made it seem like i was happy with whatever was dealt my way, but i wasn't. i longed for something more, but i thought it was out of reach. now, i'm seeing that i could have had a tangible love. something i could hold and touch and feel.
i suppose things are different now, but that doesn't mean i don't care. maybe my actions were childish or vague. maybe i denied him access to my true emotions, but nothing can be done for us now. i just wish he knew that i miss him.
